


The Days Are A Deathwish

by thatonenoahkid



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Fluff, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, fluff I think?, lots of swearing, now that those are out of the way, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28704897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonenoahkid/pseuds/thatonenoahkid
Summary: Clint likes to crawl through the vents at night, and one night, he finds Tony cutting himself.I promise, this story is better than the description, I just suck at descriptions
Relationships: Clint Barton/Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	1. Scream Over The Sound

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is my first fic published on this platform, and it's been a couple years since I've posted anything on any platform. Feedback and prompts are always appreciated.
> 
> Also, Clint's family does not exist in this, unless you count Natasha or the Avengers his family.
> 
> Enjoy! :]
> 
> (Fic title is from Hospital For Souls by Bring Me The Horizon, chapter title is from Hold On Till May by Pierce The Veil)

Clint crawls through the vents a lot at night, mainly when he can’t sleep.

And he never can sleep.

So he does this a lot.

He expects a lot of things, the most common being Barnes in the kitchen, Rogers in the gym, and Banner or Stark in the lab. And sometimes Stark passes out in the lab, but that’s from lack of sleep.

What Clint doesn’t expect is to find Stark on his bed, dragging a blade across his wrist, with silent tears running down his face.

Clint immediately jumps down from the vent. Stark’s head shoots up and his eyes widen when he sees Clint. Pure terror fills his eyes.

“Stark-” Clint starts.

“Shit. Shit, you weren’t supposed to know. Fuck, goddamnit Barton. Get out.”

“Stark-” Clint tries again.

“Leave!” Stark yells.

“Tony!” Clint exclaims. Tony stops talking. He never gets called Tony by Barton. “I’m not gonna tell anyone. You need help-”

“No,” Tony says firmly.

“And since I knew you would say that, I’ll help you.”

“Barton…” Tony threatens.

“Where’s your bandages?” Clint asks, eyeing the blood dripping down his wrists.

“Bathroom,” Tony sighs. Barton won’t give up, so Tony won’t even try to fight.

Clint steps forward and gently grabs Tony’s hand, helping him off the bed. Once he’s up, Clint removes his hand, before placing it on the small of Tony’s back. He walks Tony to the bathroom.

Turning on the water in the sink as Tony grabs the bandages, Clint looks at Tony again. The tears have been wiped away, but it’s still clear he was crying.

Clint grabs Tony’s arm and helps clean out the wound, before gently drying his arm off. He then wraps the bandage, not too tight or loose.

Tony just stares. He had never seen Barton so… caring. It’s quite strange.

“You okay?” Clint asks, now washing the little bit of blood off his own hands. Tony nods. “Friday, tell me if he cuts again.”

“Got it,” The AI responds.

“And Tony, don’t hesitate to get me yourself. I don’t want you doing this to yourself.”

Tony nods again.

Clint asks, “You ready to talk about it now?”

“Yeah.”


	2. Dying Is A Gift So Close Your Eyes And Rest In Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After some consideration and a comment asking me to continue this, I've decided to do just that! I have a couple of ideas for chapters in mind but if anyone has any prompts for Clint and Tony (preferably angsty ones), please feel free to comment! Enjoy! :]
> 
> (Chapter title is from King For A Day by Pierce The Veil)

5 Years Later

It’s been one year since the Sokovia Accords incident. Tony hadn’t expected to see any of his teammates after how roughly everything had ended. He had actually felt a bit of pride for his ex-teammates when they escaped the Raft.

So yeah, he didn’t think he would be interacting with them for a while.

That’s where he was wrong.

He’s working on fixing his gauntlets in his lab at the compound when he gets an alert that one of his old teammates is at the front door.

“Let them in,” Tony says to Friday.

“They are requesting medical,” Friday responds.

“Then bring them up to Medbay and get Cho ready.”

Tony keeps working on the gauntlet until a few minutes later, Friday says, “They are requesting to see you.”

Tony sighs and gets up, and then heads over to Medbay. He had been expecting Steve, or maybe even Natasha.

His eyes widen when he sees who it actually is.

“Barton?” He asks quickly.

“Stark,” Barton replies.

“Did you come here just for medical?” Tony asks.

“Yeah, pretty much. I was only a few miles away so I decided it might be a better idea to go here than an actual hospital where Ross could find me.”

Tony nods. “What happened?”

“Got taken by these people, kind of similar to Hydra. I don’t know how, but I escaped and then I came here.”

Tony feels sympathy for Clint. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Clint responds. “Can I see your wrists?”

Tony pauses for a second, but then rolls up his sleeves, showing old and new scars.

“You continued cutting after I left?” Clint asks.

“Uh, yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t you dare apologise for that, Tony.”


	3. Without You, Nothing Ever Mattered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I guess I'm just pumping chapters out tonight! Comment any (preferably angsty) prompts you have for Clint and Tony. Also, !<^>! is my time break/scene switch tag. Enjoy! :]
> 
> (Chapter title is from Fast Times At Clairemont High by Pierce The Veil)

“So I’m going to assume you’re staying here for the night?” Tony asks.

Clint blinks, processing the question. “Yeah, as long as it’s okay with you.”

“Your room is still the same as you left it,” Tony says.

“... Clothes and all?”

“I haven’t gone in it, so everything should still be in there.”

!<^>!

“Boss, Clint seems to be having a panic attack, most likely from flashbacks of some sort,” Friday says. Tony puts down the gauntlet he was working on and runs to Clint’s room. He gets there and opens the door quickly. Clint yelps and stares at Tony, who approaches the scared archer.

“No, don’t touch me!” Clint yells, flinching away from Tony. Clint’s eyes were wild, his breathing fast and shallow, his whole body trembling in fear.

Tony has reached Clint at this point. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” He says softly, resting his hand gently on Clint’s. Their eyes meet. “Listen to me: You’re safe. They won’t hurt you ever again, I’ll make sure of it. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Tony almost expected Clint to yank his hand away in panic, but he didn’t. Instead, Clint relaxed a little and let out a breath, before throwing himself onto Tony and pressing his face into the crook of Tony’s neck. Tony puts one hand on Clint’s back and the other on his head.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Tony tells him quietly.


	4. It's Cold But You Pretend That You're Warm With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is kind of just cute shit, but it was good enough to add in here. As always, comment a prompt or idea for Clint and Tony. Enjoy! :]
> 
> (Chapter name is from Southern Constellations by Pierce The Veil)

Tony and Clint seem to have an unspoken agreement to not really talk about Clint’s nightmares or Tony cutting, even though there’s no one around. Even though they can be pretty heavy things to deal with, they’ve brought the pair closer together.

So Tony feels comfortable rambling to Clint about science longer than he would rant to any other non-scientist.

He stops in the middle of sentence when he sees the smile on Clint’s face.

“What?” Tony asks.

“Nothing, I just think you’re cute when you ramble like that.”

Tony stares at Clint as his face grows red.

Clint smirks. “Are you blushing?”

“Wha- No, no, I’m not.”

“Oh my god. Did I get the ever-stoic, hardass, Tony Stark to blush?”

“It’s- It’s the cold,” Tony says.

“Right, uh-huh. And tell me more about this ‘cold’ in New York in the beginning of June,” Clint jokes.

“It’s- I’m not blushing!” Clint can’t keep himself together anymore, and just starts cracking up laughing.

“Dude, why are you so pressed? I was just kidding!” Clint manages to say between fits of laughter. Tony just rolls his eyes at the archer.

Flattering fucker.


	5. Sometimes The Moon Looks Brighter Than The Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am now obsessed with this fic, which started as a one shot. If you have any cool ideas or prompts that you want for Clint and Tony, please feel free to comment. Enjoy! :]
> 
> (Chapter title is from Million Dollar Houses by, you guessed it, Pierce The Veil!)
> 
> Edit: Hey, I don't know that I can finish this fic... If you liked it, great! Just don't be expecting another chapter, because I'm not sure I can do it unless I get another idea. I should have another fic coming out soon with punk non-binary Peter Parker, and they have a punk boyfriend, idk tho.

“Tony, open this goddamn door or I swear to god, I’ll break it down myself!”

“Go away!” Tony yells.

“Friday!” Clint exclaims to the ceiling.

“I’m working on opening it, it should be another second.” And with that, the door opens and Clint runs into Tony’s bedroom. He finds Tony in the bathroom, sitting on the floor. There’s blood smeared across his wrists again.

“Tony-” Clint starts.

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispers, tears forming in his eyes.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, buddy. Where’s the first aid kit?” Clint asks. Tony nods his head over to the sink counter. “Can you stand up?” Tony nods before getting off the floor shakily. He walks over to the sink, and Clint takes his hand, and turns on the sink. He washes the blood out of the wounds. After doing so, he gently wraps bandages around Tony’s wrists.

“Tony, can you put into words what your emotions are right now?” Clint asks tenderly.

“I dunno, like, anxious?” Tony replies.

“Okay, and why do you think you're anxious?”

“I don’t- Clint… Sometimes I just want to go to sleep and never wake up,” Tony says quietly. Clint stares at him for a few seconds before throwing his arms around Tony.

“Don’t kill yourself. Please, I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you too.”

“‘Too’?” Tony asks.

“Natasha, she- I- We-” Clint chokes on his words.

“Okay, slow down. Take a breath.” Clint breathes in and out.

“We… She called me, saying I needed to meet her at this place. When I got there and found her, she was already gone.” Clint sniffs. “Please don’t kill yourself. I need you, you’re keeping me alive.”

“I guess we’re keeping each other alive then.”


End file.
